i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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