Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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