i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
