Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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