Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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