problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
