Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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