she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
