Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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