Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
