Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
