do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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