you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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