I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
