i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
