I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
