So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i dont even know how to be here
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
