Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
