What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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