I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
