Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
