He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
