Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize