I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
