I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
