I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
