He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
