imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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