Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
