i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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