I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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