Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
