your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
