OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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