i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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