youre lurking in front of me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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