why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
