My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
