Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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