I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
