"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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