she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
