When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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