there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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