Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
