So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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