we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
