If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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