so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize