I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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