i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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