What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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