he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
