If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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