i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
