So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
