I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Pooping to opera.
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