I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
