Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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