Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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