Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
