A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
